Note to self: every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did.
They say time heals all wounds
I’d have to say it heals most.
It’s amazing how time can go by, you can live your life, and it can be great; yet there are some things that will always be painful to look back on. Well for me, there is just one thing.
I’ve done so great and pushed myself to a place I never thought I’d be. In fact when I look back it’s amazing to see who I used to be. I had so many insecurities and struggles that I wasn’t even aware of. It’s only now that I’m stronger that I can see how weak I was. Now, knowing that I was young, insecure, and struggling, it makes sense why it happened. I can take some sort of peace in that, but it will never relieve the sting of wishing it hadn’t happened.
I haven’t a clue what God has in store for me, but despite the wounds, I am grateful. I never thought I could’ve become the person I am today, and it is only by God’s grace that I have. I know that someday I will understand why this one wound will never heal, or if it does, why it took so long.
For years, my question to God was: If this someone can no longer be in my life why must he remain in my heart?
And though it would be easier if he was no longer residing in my heart, I know now that he is there so I can remember to pray for him, and that makes it okay.